The Rules of Engagement: How To Work a Room
Sacha Cohen

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Don't worry-you're not alone.

According to an April 2001 OfficeTeam survey, 85 percent of workers polled said the emphasis on business networking has increased over the last five years, but close to half said they feel only somewhat comfortable with this activity. "Networking has long been an effective way for job seekers and sales professionals to expand their base of contacts," said Liz Hubler, executive director of OfficeTeam. "But today, workers at every stage of their career recognize the value of increasing their visibility in the business community. A well-established network can be a determining factor in your ability to adjust to changes in the job market and your profession."

The importance of a network and the ability to schmooze successfully has led to dozens of books and seminars that teach you how to mingle. After all, surveys have found that the most successful way to find a new job or to make business contacts is in a casual business setting: a cocktail party, dinner, post-conference mixer, etc. If you're not comfortable in those settings, you could be missing out on valuable career-enhancing opportunities.

Before the event, Susan RoAne, author of Secrets of Savvy Networking suggests that you prepare a 7-9 second self-introduction that pertains to the event and be sure to read a local newspaper, a national newspaper, and appropriate professional journals for conversational contributions.

When you arrive at the event, scan the room and get a sense of who is there. Once you've familiarized yourself with the crowd, the next step is perhaps the most difficult: Learning how to break into a group. "Here the usual conventions of don't interrupt, don't eavesdrop etc. are meant to be stretched. Presumably you are at a business function where the intention is for everyone to meet. Try to pick up a thread of the conversation and add an inviting one or two liner," says Roger E. Barton, a partner at the law firm Barton Barton & Plotkin LLP. "Follow up with an introduction of yourself and perhaps a complement to one of the participants regarding their point of view on the topic discussed. Follow that with a question of their opinion on something related, and bingo you're into the group discussion."

The next hurdle-once you've broken into a new group-is remembering names of the people you are talking to. This is an essential part of good networking etiquette, says an account executive with Edelman Public Relations. "After working a room, remembering names the next time is always tough, but doing it well always wins you 'bonus points' with peers. It looks good and shows you care. One thing that is effective is trying to say a new contact's name three times in conversation upon meeting them. Example: 'Hi Steve, good to meet you...what sort of work do you do, Steve?' And again, 'Great to meet you, Steve.'"

To get the most out of the event, you probably should try to spend an average of five minutes with each person. Don't allow yourself to be monopolized by anyone. "Take on the host mentality vs. guest mentality. Try to bring others into your conversation as though you are the host of the event," recommends Barton. "For example, when speaking to one or two people, try to catch the attention of a third or forth person and bring them into your original circle of conversation. Introduce the newcomers to your original contacts as a host would. This provides comfort to all and keeps you at the center of the conversation. All four participants are now looking to you as the leader of this group."

Courtesy, Manners, and an Exit Strategy

Breaking into a conversation is easy compared to extricating yourself from one-whether it's pleasant or otherwise. RoAne has a few tips for how to leave a conversation gracefully. First, don't lean into the group, extend your hand and says that you enjoyed discussing XYZ, smile and then walk away (at least a quarter of the room away, don't linger nearby). For difficult conversations, you'll come off as insincere if you say, "it was nice talking to you." Instead, suggests RoAne, you could say, "I hope you enjoy the rest of the conference, event, etc." Another good exit line is, "I don't want to monopolize your time," this lets you both mingle and releases you both from the conversation. No matter what the circumstance, you should always be polite, using good manners. Remember: You are establishing your professional reputation and courtesy is essential.

One of the most common questions that RoAne gets asked is how to make conversation with people from different generations and backgrounds. "Everyone has hobbies, went to school, and has family-there's plenty of common ground-no matter what the person's age." Scientists, for instance, might ask each other about projects or experiments they are working on. At non-industry events, they might introduce themselves not only with a job title, but also with a short description of what they do-in layperson's terms. "A lot of people don't like small talk, but that's how people get to know each other," says RoAne. When you are schmoozing, you might find out about joint ventures, projects in common, and joint research opportunities. "If nothing else you might learn about a good restaurant near the convention center," she jokes.

While being a good conversationalist is important, part of that includes not only talking, but listening as well. Pay attention to what others are saying, show genuine interest, and remember something that they've told you so that you can include a reference to it in a follow-up e-mail. For example, you might say, "Hi Janice, it was great talking to you at the conference. Hope you were able to make it to your son's little league game. Let's get together soon…."

Kate Koziol, President of K Squared Communications, a marketing and public relations firm based in Chicago, attends several conferences and meetings a year to "see and be seen." It's the "lifeblood of building new business," she says. Koziol suggests that you dress in bright attractive colors to be remembered (ever notice how lots of women wear red and pink to networking parties?). In addition, she recommends the following:

• Get a list of attendees and highlight those companies and individuals that you want to meet.
  
• Be sure to say hello to known associates and old friends, but don't cling to those you already know for too long. Be sure to visit for a bit, but strike out to meet new people as well.
  
• Ask those that you know if they know the people you want to meet. They may be able to provide introductions or a description of whom you are looking to meet.
  
• If you want to meet one of the presenters, be sure to mention something they spoke about or ask about some particular aspect of the topic. Presenters are almost always interested in expounding on their area of expertise.

Okay, so the event was a great success and you met lots of terrific people and made some valuable business connections. Now what? Follow-up is the key, notes Barton. "E-mail is excellent. People throw away the junk mail and a fax is passé. A short concise e-mail is the best way to initially follow up. It's easy for someone to respond, which helps to give you a sense if they are interested. Eventually, however, nothing replaces the lunch or dinner meeting to get better acquainted."

Sacha Cohen is a Washington-based business and technology writer. Her work has appeared in The Washington Post, Kiplinger.com, Fast Company, Oxygen's ka-Ching and other print and online publications. Cohen has been covering Internet trends and culture since 1996.

Recommended Reading:

How to Work a Room by Susan RoAne
Power Networking by Donna Fisher, Sandy Vilas and Marilyn Hermance
The Pocket Guide To Making Successful Small Talk by Bernardo J. Carducci
Networking for Everyone by Michelle Tullier
Dynamite Networking for Dynamite Jobs by Ronald Krannich
Power Networking: Using the Contacts You Don't Even Know You Have to Succeed in the Job You Want by Marc Kramer

Recommended Resources:

CareerJournal.com offers an excellent section on networking. On the Home Page, roll your mouse over the "Job-Hunting Advice" tab and select "Networking" from the pop-up menu.

Ken Morse, head of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Entrepreneurship Center, teaches networking skills as part of a class on high-tech entrepreneurship. The Wall St. Journal reported some of his tips for networking at informal business events: Get there early and thank your host. Get drinks for people who are having a good conversation. If you're bored and feel trapped…find somebody the person would enjoy speaking to. If you feel awkward, go with somebody who's not and ask them to help you out. Be nice to everybody, you never know.